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-   -   Ritual I and II (http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37282)

AbyssicSoul 2007-05-17 14:39

Ritual I and II
 
Ritual I

Lightning strikes the blood-red sky,
I summon the unholy beast,
Darkness wakes from where you lye,
The soul of death upon I feast

The cold blade cuts you flesh as I do his sign,
Writhing in agony you give your last breath,
Your life you'd spent, your time was nigh,
Your blood I drained till no life was left

Cloaked in black, the ones who reap,
Their creeping shadows roam the night,
The fallen angels, tears of blood they weep,
Flames are cast as they take flight

Haunted by dark desires of which they seek,
Nocturnal creatures are raped by the sun,
But when night falls we will impale all holy and weak,
United with Lucifer the evil one.

Ritual II

Raise the horns in prideful blasphemy,
Receive the blood filled chalice,
The book of Jesus we ignite,
A canvas for our malice,

Ride the winds of chaotic splendour,
Following the carnage of your darkened path,
Together we unfold the arcane truths,
Racing through the scriptures of infernal wrath,

Swallowing the poison of forbidden sin,
To the labyrinth and the beast my hands are tied,
My soul is no longer my own,
I forsake it for the pleasures of demonic rite

The cryptic bell doth toll,
All pure and good they flee,
The hand of death I take in mine,
Entwined in godless glee.

I hope no one here is selfish enough to steal my poems. If you are that selfish and stupid then you will get found out eventually.

L,B'XXX 2007-05-17 15:53

Oh well, that's a great way to make friends and get comments. If you're so worried about it don't post. Also note the copyright info at the bottom of every page if you're that worried.

Personally I wouldn't steal it because it's been done to death. But to be constructive, there's a place or 2 that need smoothed out in wording that seems like it was just typed too quickly.

You obviously can pen a story cohesively so that's a positive for you, but there's not a thing here that's really a unique idea. The last verse wasn't bad, but the rest just didn't grab me.

Infinity 2007-05-17 22:27

bad.

Enoch-666 2007-05-18 12:59

Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinity
bad.

No way man......im stealin the fucker.lol :smash:

JOAMdude 2007-05-19 14:35

abyssic soul, not only are you a cold jerk but you also wrote a very unoriginal piece


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