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L,B'XXX 2006-04-06 18:00

It's My Will That Now Will Be Done
 
Little ditty I wrote this afternoon after reading another piece elsewhere. It's metally.

" It's My Will That Now Will Be Done "

The day shines bright on the surface
But the buzzards are circling the sun
The laughter of kids in the playground
Seems surreal to what's going to come

The plan sparked by a fever
Taken as reality, not as what's fake
Stoking the fires of darkness in daylight
How much more can you take

(Chorus)
You did me in
And passed judgement on me
Setting fire to the hopes of what I wanted to be
You pulled me inside and struck me mercilessly
You thought it was over
You thought it was over

No blessings of peace until I've equaled
The blaspheme that's been done unto me
When I look at myself all I see are the scars
Raging sounds inside my head no one else hears
You're gonna hear
I'll make you hear

(Break)
You're gonna hear all the screams at night
Feel the burning rage that I felt inside
No healing or comfort, nothing to ever compare
You'll know what it feels like to suffer as me
It's my will that now will be done

(Chorus)
You did me in
And passed judgement on me
Setting fire to the hopes of what I wanted to be
You pulled me inside and struck me mercilessly
You thought it was over
You thought it was over

(Slower)
There's no cover in the world that can hide you from me
No falsification that will make me break
It's my will that now will be done

BJH
4/6/2006


EDIT: okay, now it's right. :rolleyes:

Unanything 2006-04-07 12:59

Now that's cool.

It's so sincere and powerful. Almost striking.

L,B'XXX 2006-04-07 19:16

Well, I screwed up something somewhere when I put the chorus in. I have to figure that one out, but thanks for the kind words. :)

Fixed now I think.

Amadeus 2006-04-08 12:25

You are a very boring writer. Most of those poems that cross my path, I can point out mistakes and things that could and maybe should be done different. I tend to be nice on this forum, but generally I find much amusement in the polite act of ripping apart, metaphorically speaking, creations of people who write for the sake of being special.

You don't give me that amusement. Honestly, you don't offer much joy of down rating at all.

L,B'XXX 2006-04-08 16:46

Thank you very much. I'm still as appreciative and humble feeling about comments like that as I was the first time I got comments like that. I'm glad you think that of my verses.


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