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-   -   "Altar of Shadows" (http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15448)

L,B'XXX 2004-11-09 16:17

"Altar of Shadows"
 
Inspired by items on my pc desk. Thanks for reading.

"Altar of Shadows"

Near the highest peak yet far away from the sun
Are the steps of the king's lair to which we must run
Where no grass grows plentiful nor tree grows tall
Toward the Altar of Shadows we crawl

An elder spoke to us in parables so wise
But the words he was speaking were strangely in disguise
We'd not know their meaning until it was time for us to know
But then we would have wisdom where to go

A cavern that we had to pass was home to a beast
Shining silver, plated body wielding mindthoughts to each
That plotted his ruin guided by the seer's mystic curse
He tried to bury our thoughts in distortion perverse

The sky flashed from red to green to gray as we climbed higher
Exchanging words with the king our utmost desire
The beast reached it's talons and tried to scalp us from the ground
A well placed sword between its' armor, it sank down

Rays streaked through the darkness leading to the top
Guiding us through with recharged hearts not willing to stop
A sphere of purity the portal to what was within
The king brought us together to begin

The Altar of Shadows is where the slate mists roll
The king desires freedom, desiring to see the glow
Of sunstreaked daylight--something hidded so many years
The Altar of Shadows holds his tears
The Altar of Shadows holds his tears
And together we will find a way to take away his fear

Near the highest peak yet far away from the sun
Are the steps of the king's lair to which we have run
Where no grass grows plentiful nor tree grows tall
To the Altar of Shadows we no longer crawl
As the Altar of Shadows starts to fall

BJH

Morbid+Roach 2004-11-09 16:27

Wow, these suck.

Just Kidding! ;) This is badass. You have my compliments. :)

L,B'XXX 2004-11-09 18:57

Nah, if you think it sucks. Let me know. I'm a big girl. I can take it. If it does I want to know why though so I can improve. You know? :)

Thanks. :) I wonder if anyone will catch my references.

powersofterror 2004-11-10 11:14

OOooo, that's pretty cool, LBXXX. So eh, each paragraph is referring to a specific item? ...I'm guessing the first paragraph is just an intro(cool BTW), the second perhaps to your thesaurus, and that's all I can think right now. Well, the only thing I ask is about the line, "He tried to bury our thoughts in distortion perverse." The last 2 words are a little shaky I think, so maybe you could change it to "distorted perverse" or even distortion's perverse" like it's possessive. anyhoo, I like this because it has some wicked things in it.:vampire:

L,B'XXX 2004-11-10 11:26

Yer not even close, powers', but I do have a thesaurus sitting here. I fought with those words and I still don't like them but -erse is hard to rhyme. Would a comma help between there? I'm not happy with distorted perverse because it doesn't sound right either.
Glad you liked it though. "Altar of Shadows" is a big hint to what the items were though. And there's one other blatant hint in there. The other two are just eluded to. But the color changes in one line refer to the title, too. Have I totally confused you? It was pretty neat doing this one.

Disincarnate 2004-11-10 11:41

killer shit......wish i could write like that :beer:

L,B'XXX 2004-11-10 13:43

If you wanna borrow it and do some music, I'd just like to hear it. I did a lyrical collaboration this morning with a guy I've known for about 3 years now. He's got a mellower band, but they are really good. A few others have used my lyrics, too.

Rapture 2004-11-10 19:11

so, be honest, how would you feel about your lyrics being shamelessly ripped off and used to help further the success of a certain persons band? honesty is the best policy

Trendkill_420 2004-11-10 21:19

cooll shit lbXXX.

I tried to get an online thesaures but it cost's money. So i just use the words in my head (that's why my poems tend to be repetative)

Morbid+Roach 2004-11-10 22:20

Alright, if you're a big girl, I'll tell you my opinion...

Like I said before, it's badass, but I would make one change were they my lyrics. The last verse shows that the evil that clung to the 'Altar of Shadows' had been vanquished. Personally, I think a better ending would have involved the evil remaining and living on. However, that is just my opinion.

Praise the Ancient Ones... ;)

powersofterror 2004-11-11 08:38

Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Yer not even close, powers', but I do have a thesaurus sitting here. ...

:ohaha. Then I'm totally oblivious.

L,B'XXX 2004-11-11 16:39

heehee what the fukc else is new powers" !!!! haha And yeah, I know I spelled that wrong. I'm having a moral moment or something. I just dropped about 25 blank cd's and said an explicatory word I'd never used before. "Fudge packers!" haha I just recorded a song , just me singing, and I heard my bird say "hello Birdie" in the background. Oh well.

Okay. I like a happy ending. Shoot me. (not really) Okay, I'll give you a big hint.

Altar of Shadows
Leonin Elder
Soul Nova
Sphere of Purity

Do those mean anything to anyone? They're Magic cards actually. There's a stack of them under the monitor and I was bored and looking for inspiration. The top one was the Altar card and I thought it sounded cool so I started with that. The color change reference is because when I moved in the seat the colors changed on it since it's a foil card. Cool as heck,too. Then I found the L.E. and read the quote--" " The wisdom of the elders is just as much a weapon as a sword or a spear. We must learn to weild it. Ushanti, leonid seer " I thought that's pretty much the way songwriter's words can be so the elder crept in. The Soul Nova is a silver grey looking creature getting blasted by lime and white light til it melts into molten iron. So that's where the beast came from. And the sphere I thought sounded pretty and pearly and cool so I threw that in. I'm telling you all the details because a lot of times people don't realize how many inspirations aren't too far away. I've got others wanting to use these ,too. I think that's cool as heck. I don't mind as long as you ask me and if you make a shit ton of money with it ,don't forget me. I'm unemployed right now and could use a buck or 2. heehee
I'd LOVE to hear it hooked up.

BTW, Wally and his brother played Magic for years. I tried and sucked at it so I just looked at their cards. And they never went out and raped old ladies or burned crosses in anyones yard. Anyone who thinks they're satanic needs they're head examined and better NEVER like the LOTR movies. It 's about the same sci-fi stuff to me. End of mom speech. Thanks for all your comments. :)

Trendkill_420 2004-11-11 20:59

I used to play magic a long time ago. Then it got popular.

powersofterror 2004-11-12 17:23

ha, no wonder I didn't know what this was referring to. No way in hell you'd catch me playing that nerdy game.

Trendkill_420 2004-11-12 21:10

lol. see i used to play it before nerds had a clue what it was.
We'd get drunk and stoned and play it.
Now it's like fucking pokemon or some shit like that.

L,B'XXX 2004-11-12 21:46

The kids around here went through all those phases. It has to be at least over 10 years ago that they began playing it. Some of the cards have beautiful artwork on them. But like I said I was crappy playing it.

I got an unusual compliment today from someone. She said basically that I could write a piece about an onion in my cupboard and have it come out wonderfully. haha I told her she shouldn't say things like. The mental gears are clunking now. I gotta do one about a drunken yeti in a sub though, too.

hehheh I'm gonna tell Wally you called him a nerd. haha I bet nobody has ever called him that.

Trendkill_420 2004-11-12 22:40

lol.
tell him i'm glad he introduced me to stevie ray vaughn.

(he wont' remember ol' trendkill though)

L,B'XXX 2004-11-13 19:21

I will do that. :) He remembers a few people on here.

TheDreadfulHoroscope 2004-11-13 19:59

I never would have geussed the reference....

I still have about 2000 MTG cards that I will never use, and I haven't been able to find a good place to sell them.

L,B'XXX 2004-11-14 10:04

Well, it will probably be one of those things that when you're 40 some old player, nostalgia buff will pay a decent price for if they're in good shape.


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