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Brutally_Hacked 2004-07-26 06:57

A Horror Untold
I never realised how long it was until I read over it when I'd finished, but goddamn is it lenthy!! It wasn't supposed to be, but read it if you have time, I reckon it turned out pretty good. Nice and horrific. Me and one of my friends are planning to make a movie type thingy that goes somewhat along these lines.

By the way, the setting of this thing, it is a real place where me and some friends go all the time... Anyway, yeah.


Lurking through shadows, a horror untold
The noises kept strangers at bay
Though few people ventured down into the dark
There were some who went down through the day

Kids who were daring, kids who were bold
Others who fled from their peers
School kids who wagged, who needed to hide
They all end up down there with fear

The drains and the tunnels all under the school
Were eerie, a place like no other
Only the strangest would venture down there
The kids who were friends with no others

A good place to smoke with no chance to be caught
A good place to go for a screw
The few kids who knew of the drains below ground
Kept quiet, nobody else knew

One group of kids who avoided their class
Lowered down into the drains
They landed below on the hard, concrete ground
Trying to see, their eyes strained

The dark pressing in made them huddle in close
Hoping that they were alone
The smell of decay was choking their breathe
They crawled over rubble and stones

Before long the kids stopped and sat by the wall
Tired from scrambling through
Deciding they'd travelled inside far enough
They stayed in the tunnel they knew

Not long had passed before they got bored
They wanted something new to try
They lit up a candle to see where they were
And saw a small tunnel nearby

Nervously laughing they peered down the hole
Just the right size to slide in
Hiding their fears they started to crawl
The rocks scraping hard on their skin

Quite some time later the tunnel gained height
The kids could now crawl on their toes
It didn't take long for the roof to raise higher
They stood as the tunnel still rose

They soon found themselves in what seemed like a room
The roof higher still, the walls wide
They never knew rooms were involved in the drains
Yet their eyes could never have lied

They peered through the dark yet they couldn't see
Not an object could be found
The silence was screaming and building their fears
'Till suddenly there was a sound...

A low, whispered rattle, a quick, stifled laugh
Echoed throughout the small room
The teenagers froze, they trembled with fright
They still couldn't see through the gloom

Another sound then, the clank of a chain
A snicker, the shuffle of feet
A strange, hurried click, repeated three times
Then light, and unnatural heat

The furnace was blazing with fresh flames and coal
The room was lit up so bright
A strange huddled figure crouched down by the wall
Shaking and howling delight

The kids couldn't move, their feet were held down
Their fright wouldn't let them respond
For in the man's hand, reflecting the light
A bloodied blade quivered so bright

From where did the blood come the kids couldn't see
Their eyes quickly searching around
Seeing no source they almost looked back
Till they saw the blood dripping down

Sickened with dread their eyes raised up higher
Making their way to the roof
The horror they saw made them choke on their breathe
Shocked with the startling truth

Lining the ceiling and part of the walls
Countless dead swine had been nailed
All in their various states of decay
The hogs were all dripping entrails

Their stomaches were slashed, their necks had been sliced
Intestines and organs hung down
Bodily fluids were drained to the floor
To run through the damp, rotting ground

The faces were twisted in several expressions
Dying thoughts horribly clear
Held there with pins or stuck still by knives
Their rotting eyes clouded with tears

The teenagers gaped, their hearts beating hard
Panic was setting in fast
Before they could act and flee from the room
The snickering man blocked their path

His one lazy eye rolled his view at their feet
His other focused on their eyes
A trembling hand held the bloodied knife out
The kids' fright had stifled their cries

Flashing a grin of rotted-down teeth
He lunged out for them through the mud
Feeling quite faint, the kids backed away
Their feet slipping over the blood

Now in the center, and blinded by fright
None of them noticed the door
An iron-bar barrier slammed in their face
They were trapped inside the walls

Laughing with glee the madman danced 'round
The teens could feel nothing but doom
Some had been sobbing but dried up their tears
As soon as they saw what now loomed

Their future was staring them right in the face
They saw what was there on the floor
A mess of a corpse, it's bones jutting out
Another one chained to the door

Past prisinors of the psycho at hand
Their flesh was oozing with rot
The teenagers screamed, they didn't hold back
The furnace's flame blazing hot

Looking around they saw he was gone
The stranger was not to be seen
Though they could still hear him, quietly laughing
Their eyes couldn't see through the gleam

The fire was bright so they turned down their eyes
Closing them hard to the terror
Each of them praying that this was a dream
A nightmare to show them their errors

But as they looked up the room was still there
The smell of death flooding their senses
They were still trapped in the psychopath's lair
Held in place by iron fences

Then out of nowhere the madman appeared
A handful of hooks in his hands
Reaching inside, he snared a kid's skin
And shredded his flesh down to strands

The blood poured out thickly down onto the ground
The kid was screaming with pain
The stranger reached out for the girl who was crying
And held the hook out once again

Tearing her clothes from her flesh as she shrieked
He traced the point over her breast
Then with a swift flick he sliced her skin open
From her neck to her gut down her chest

Turning at last to the one untouched kid
The man quickly slipped in the bars
Holding him down on the freshly soaked ground
He slammed the hook down on him hard

Inserting the tips as the teenager screamed
The man felt his energy rise
The pleading below him was urging him on
He lapped up the pained, tortured cries

Closing his eyes, he touched all the hooks
Feeling the blood from the veins
Felt all the metal jut out from the flesh
And sighed as the boy sobbed with pain

The hooks were designed with loops in the ends
Perfectly sized like a ring
Ten hooks in total were stuck in the boy
The madman's small fingers slipped in

Holding all ten of the hooks in his hands
The murderer took a deep breathe
Wanting the moment to last all his life
He sharply pulled down, causing death

Opening eyes, the madman looked down
A smile played on his thin lips
He'd pulled one hand up and another one down
The hooks left red grooves with their tips

Ten gaping grooves running down the fresh corpse
The boy's eyes were still showing fright
The madman rose up to his feet and looked down
The hooks gleaming in the fire's light

His thirst was quelled, if only for now
He'd last for a month at the least
But soon enough hunger would set in again
He'd need some more death for a feast

Chuckling softly he looked to the drain
Through which the three teens first arrived
Anticipating the next lot of kids
Who's curious urges arised

Severed_Head_Stoner 2004-07-27 00:32

If it was anyone else, i wouldnt have bothered reading it, but u always produce quality work :beer:

Fucking mad that was, and damn worth the read. Are you the psycho who hides in that room? ;)

Brutally_Hacked 2004-07-27 01:13

*does the dance of all things kickass for severed_head_stoner* :beer:

andrewc 2004-07-27 06:54

my brains burning :bawling:
yet soooo full of.....all things...poetical and...good. ibdibdibdibdib. :sleeping:

Brutally_Hacked 2004-07-27 07:14

HA! it bored that dude ^^^ *gets out gun and shoots him in his sleep* :p :p :)

Severed_Head_Stoner 2004-07-27 19:30

lol, he's my mate, i made him read it. He didn't get through it all, but he liked it. I think... :beer:

Cheers for the dance :)

Transient 2004-07-27 20:37

ok, so i skimmed it. but it was good :beer:

Brutally_Hacked 2004-07-28 00:57

i laugh at your signature, transient, i laugh hard

BLS is a sissy... that's awesome. It's so undeniably awesome. Don't know why...

Transient 2004-07-28 12:28

:) thanks

Pineappleystuff 2004-07-28 13:47

Brutally Hacked, I'm well...I assume you can read. anywho....I love your avatar and your writing is spooky but original (a hard combo to find). Congrats!

dammit janet!

powersofterror 2004-07-28 22:43

"Holding him down on the freshly soaked ground
He slammed the hook down on him hard"

This was magnificent! Haha, a great new horror movie if done right. I hope you have a good budget though;). Unless of course, you are only doing this for laughs. Either way, I'd find it HI-larious.

Brutally_Hacked 2004-07-29 01:19

"dammit janet!"

HA! I'm laughing my ass off!!! *tears come to eyes* sorry, you kick ass... still laughing.

There's no questioning it, that's funny... those two words are commonly used amongst my group of friends. Out of nowhere you can hear "damnit janet!"

Yeah, we have a great budget *looks around and coughs*

hehe, we have a total of ZERO count em ZERO dollars, and a hand held camera. The only promising part of our movie plan is that the drains we are going to film it in is indeed creepy. So yeah, it's just for laughs. But it'll be amusing, very amusing.

Severed_Head_Stoner 2004-07-29 01:35

And you will be the psycho in the room yes? I know you willl, in there with ur hooks, slicing your mates up, you won't be able to hold back ;) :beer:

Brutally_Hacked 2004-07-29 01:51

oh no!!! my secret's out! now everyone will know that the blood and gore in my movie will be real!!!


*whispers to stoner* cops or not, the mutilation, the guts... it'll be fun!!!!!! wanna help??

Severed_Head_Stoner 2004-07-29 01:55

Hell fucken yeah! :beer: mutilation is the ultimate in fun.

Cops know nothing, a goth i know spray painted the Anarchy symbol on a cop car in America and got away with it.

Brutally_Hacked 2004-07-29 01:59

Hehe, could make it a snuff film with a plot. Put it on the net.

Severed_Head_Stoner 2004-07-29 02:05

Haha yeah. We could sell it to channel nine's "A Current Affair" :D, then we could use that cash to start bands, tat shops, make more snuff films, anything :p

Brutally_Hacked 2004-07-29 02:10

i like your way of thinking. my tattoo shop could rise and take over the world!!! I'll split thousands of tongues, pierce thousands of private places, and bring in many many dollars...

And yeah, more snuff films would be made. We could do a trent reznor and strap someone onto a torture machine, and then process their meat.

and then make a band that kicks so much ass that it makes people fall on their asses when they hear it. They just wouldnt be able to handle the amount of ass kickery the band would emit.

Severed_Head_Stoner 2004-07-29 02:17

And bands like Slayer, Amon Amarth, Nile and other great bands will do covers of us!

It would be a circle, make a snuff film, sell the film and the left over meat, make more films.

Start a tat shop, be paid to inflict pain on others (i like your thinking) and then inflict more, bigger pain.

Make a band so unbelievably killerkickass that we would rule the world, and metalheads everywere will chant our names. And people would conver from classical, jazz, rock and hindu to listen to our mucis :D

muhahahahah *coughing fit* :vampire:

Brutally_Hacked 2004-07-29 02:29

*---insert insanity-drivin evil laughter here---*

Brilliant, ah the plotting. It shall happen, oh yes, it shall. And the whole world will bow to us. We wont even have to make them bow to us, they'll do it themselves, they's kiss our shoes, simply because we rule...

and all because of the movie that hasn't yet been made... excellent. :beer:

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