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-   -   "Housework is for Sissies" (http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11078)

L,B'XXX 2004-05-07 07:54

"Housework is for Sissies"
 
Okee-doke. Just for fun. I don't think I ever posted this here, but it sort of shows my personality quite well. When Denny, the ole man, read it he said it was so accurate it was scary.
BTW, if you've never read Erma Bombeck ,author of "motherhood, The Second Oldest Profession" and "The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank" , please do so sometime. She was a scream ! This is sorta up her alley, too.
Heehee I was thinking if this could be done as a song in a metal format. Lacuna Coil, maybe???? ;)

"Housework is for Sissies"

Housework is for sissies
And that's one thing I hate.
As soon as there's a cleaned off spot
I will not hesitate-
To get some project going,
To make another mess.
I should live in a house of tables-
Then I'd have room for my excess.

Ceramics on the buffet,
In the basement,
In the hall.
Sometimes I've even finished them
And hung them on the wall.
Clothes that need a-mending.
Curtains for my mom.
Sometimes I wish it'd all go away,
But I'm just not that strong.

I get knee-deep in projects
And then I feel a song.
I sit and write the words to it
Before I find it gone.
Then I put it on the forum
And check all my e-mail.
The hours tick by quickly-
And the day is shot to hell.

I know that there's a vacuum
Inside my house somewhere.
I thought we got a rabbit
There's dust bunnies everywhere.
And cobwebs on the ceiling.
I think I'll leave them there
To catch the skeeters with West Nile Virus.
It shows how much I care.

We said we'd get remarried
When 2 things came to pass.
When he got his Harley
And I cleaned up my mess.
Well, he got his Harley
But there's no wedding bells.
He breathes a sigh of relief-
Because he knows darn well-

Housework is for sissies
And I'm not one of those.
I'll put away my sewing machine.
Go buy yourself new clothes.
I hear the fishies calling me.
Where's my tacklebox?
Inside there's no more lures-
Just bright embroidery floss.

Housework is for sissies.
I need a maid or 2
So I can do more things
I really want to do.
But I just can't afford it
So I'll just push my broom.
As soon as I can find it
I will clean up this room.

BJH

Dimejandro 2004-06-10 14:56

too childish to be metal. maybe gayglam

dying-oath 2004-06-11 15:30

It was a joke, smart one.
"Okee-doke. Just for fun." this kinda clues you off.

ShredIsNotDead 2004-06-11 16:51

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimejandro
too childish to be metal. maybe gayglam


That was one of the stupidest things i've ever heard

L,B'XXX 2004-06-11 20:23

It's called real life, buddy-- mine! No biggie though. Everyone can't like everything.

dying-oath 2004-06-11 20:46

Yeah, but a lot of people HATE everything "ahem...[Dime]". just because you have a screwed up and not-fun life doesn't mean you have to try and screw up ours you little.......

dying-oath 2004-06-11 20:47

see, I don't think you get it; you don't mess with our L'B', 'cause if you do, you'll get screwed over so bad, you won't even know who screwed you in the middle of the day.

L,B'XXX 2004-06-12 05:32

Yeah, that's right . You'll get screwed and he won't even kiss ya first. Nyah. d_o, you don't have to be so overprotective ! He's one opinion and he's allowed to voice it.

HA ! Walpurgis said that he's gonna tell Nomad to ban me.:D heehee I told him I 'd take his moderator shirt then. Brat. I hate kids. ;)Unless they're cooked right.

dying-oath 2004-06-12 09:58

(in a russian accent) no, he should have no opinion. The state must control all opinion, it is not allowed. (end russian accent) I'll be as overprotective as I like, so there.
I might slap him around first, but then, man, you will die. I will cut you into a hundred pieces and the feed you to my goldfish.

L,B'XXX 2004-06-12 19:52

Well, I think this place beats your goldfish.

"Area Atractions--Do not forget to stop at the Pymatuning Spillway, famous as the place where "the ducks walk on the fish!". Each year, thousands of visitors stop to feed bread to the ducks and carp which crowd together in such numbers that the ducks stand on the carp to catch a tasty morsel."

I tell you what. I think it would be horrible to fallin there. Those carp lips flapping and rolling over each other trying to get bread or whatever. That gives me the willies thinking about it. I've been there lots of times .

And your accent sounded more like Sgt. Schultz from Hogan's Heroes than a Russian. ;) heehee "I know naw-ZING!"

dying-oath 2004-06-14 07:43

hey, you think feeling a carp's lips would be bad, just go look at the thread "Torture Chamber" me thinks that stuff would feel worse.

ShredIsNotDead 2004-06-14 16:47

why doesnt walpurgis ever post anymore?

L,B'XXX 2004-06-15 07:45

He was so busy with school and studying and lifting that he really didn't have any free time. Hopefully it will be a little easier and he'll have more free time when he gets up to prototype. He did post at the metaltabs song thread after I told him he was in the song. I will tell him you asked about him when he wakes his dead ass up ! He just rolled over on the couch. ;)

ShredIsNotDead 2004-06-15 18:58

are you 2 good friends? Both living in Walpurgis and all

L,B'XXX 2004-06-17 06:24

Umm, I'm his mum. heehee That rhymed. Yeah, Walpurgis is my baby boy. (the moose was curling a 70 pound sandbag yesterday during his workout! He does push ups with it on his back.) My sig means that I live in his cave by Lake Erie. Actually it's my cave, but you get the picture.

dying-oath 2004-06-17 08:38

the niceness.
Shred, you got beat.

ShredIsNotDead 2004-06-17 22:23

Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Umm, I'm his mum. heehee That rhymed. Yeah, Walpurgis is my baby boy. (the moose was curling a 70 pound sandbag yesterday during his workout! He does push ups with it on his back.) My sig means that I live in his cave by Lake Erie. Actually it's my cave, but you get the picture.


oh boy i feel kind of stupid right now...

L,B'XXX 2004-06-18 06:03

Aw, don't worry about it. At least you didn't think I was a guy like a lot of netters do. :)

dying-oath 2004-06-18 09:22

Shred, it's okay, i feel stupid all the time.

ShredIsNotDead 2004-06-18 16:41

Quote:
Originally Posted by dying-oath
Shred, it's okay, i feel stupid all the time.


maybe if you werent so caught up in your crazy tortures all the time... :p


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