The Atif and Walpurgis Show - Episode 1

[slayme_returns]

http://metaltabs.kicks-ass.org/get/30/A&w - Theme - Song.mp3



It's morning in Atif and Walpurgis's apartment in NYC. Atif wakes up out of his pineapple bed and proceeds toward the kitchen

[atifman]

I desire waffles [opens the freezer and sees Wally inside] Aaah, good morning wally! Did you have a good night's rest?

[walpurgis]

Roog Rorming Grshtif. Wesh fy fid, granksh kro lashking.

[atifman]

You're welcome, wally! Say, have you seen the peanut better and jelly? I couldn't even find the jars yesterday.

[walpurgis]

Zhats fazz yai frate ditall.

[atifman]

You ate 'em all? What?!? even the jars?

[walpurgis]

[nods]

[atifman]

dammit!! :angry: i bought those with my own money! and you could at least help out by doing the grocery shopping.

[walpurgis]

[bellows like Chewbacca and raises his massive yeti arms into the air like a gorilla. he beats his chest with his fists]

[atifman]

okay okay!! :eek: calm down. i don't want to be crushed by your oversize biceps. just take it easy now. (ya big mooch)

[walpurgis]

grut??!??!?

[atifman]

um, nothing nothing.

[walpurgis]

[grunts]

[slayme_returns]

someone knocks on the door

[atifman]

(high-pitched voice) Who is it……

[walpurgis]

Rall vret Dit!! [shakes entire apartment with his steps][and opens the door but breaks the handle..]

[slayme_returns]

A scottish traveling acrobat hobo appears with ginger dreadlocks and a beard , a celtic drum in one hand, and a flyer in the other hand. Wally smiles and squeals in delight

[walpurgis]

VRAAAGH! [gives CtHuLu DaWn a bear hug]

[CtHuLhU DaWn]

Ergg! I can’t fuckin breathe!

[walpurgis]

Rha ha! [Gives CtHuLu DaWn a massive slap on the back]

[CtHuLhU DaWn]

(cough cough) good to see you too wally…..(cough cough)

[atifman]

Hello Gav! Would you like some Lucky Charms?

[CtHuLhU DaWn]

I’m scottish, not irish, ya peasent!

[atifman]

uh……okay. Sorry. How about some coffee.

[CtHuLhU DaWn]

You do know how I like it right?

[atifman]

Of course. [pulls out haggis from the fridge]. So why are you here anyway.

[CtHuLhU DaWn]

I thought you would be interested in this flyer: (attachment of flyer)

[slayme_returns]

atif and wally examine the flyer

[atifman]

hey yo, we gotta sign up for this shat, dogg!

[walpurgis]

Fy doon’t shink gwere roog genuff.

[atifman]

you don’t think we’re good enough? Sure we are man! You don’t have faith man, you gotta believe in yourself and have confidence and shite.

[walpurgis]

Umm, Rhy doon’t mro….glet’s shask gemnach:idea:

[atifman]

ok you wanna call memnoch and ask? Alright [dials phone and gives it to wally]

[slayme_returns]

after 2 rings wally gets the answering message which plays loud immolation music

[walpurgis]

Grraaght da zhuck??

[memnoch]

[picks up] Oh it’s you wally? How goes it, eh?

[walpurgis]

Roes Roog, fry zhavorite canniggerian. Shay, foo tlink rowr vand is roog genuff fro da zattle of da zands?

[memnoch]

Our Band? What band? What hell fuck are you talking aboot, eh?

[walpurgis]

Petti grand da Gazzzhrinders.

[memnoch]

Yeti and The Assgrinders? Oh yeah! That’s the band we’re in. And you don’t think we’re good enough? No way! We’re totally awesome, we should definitely do it! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….

[walpurgis]

Alright, when you guys get here, you can continue posting along the script. If you're not part of the script that we've already written, don't post. Anything you post that isn't in the story will be deleted and totally disregarded. And people doing it continually will make me do bad things to them, I have lots of spare time and a very short temper.

[walpurgis]

Did this get cancelled?

[slayme_returns]

the network axed us.

[EmperorMalignus]

the site doesnt exist:confused:

[atifman]

Originally posted by slayme_returns
the network axed us.

dang, they didn't even wait for the show to be over. stupid network execs


i'll post the script sometime.

[atifman]

*THE ATIF AND WALPURGIS SHOW*

created by slayme_returns

CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Atif
Walpurgis
CtHuLu DaWn
memnoch
slayme_returns (narrator)

slayme_returns: [It's morning in Atif and Walpurgis's apartment in NYC. Atif wakes up out of his pineapple bed and proceeds toward the kitchen]

Atif: I desire waffles [opens the freezer and sees Wally inside] Aaah, good morning wally! Did you have a good night's rest?

Wally: Roog Rorming Grshtif. Wesh fy fid, granksh kro lashking.

Atif: You're welcome, wally! Say, have you seen the peanut better and jelly? I couldn't even find the jars yesterday.

Wally: Zhats fazz yai frate ditall.

Atif: You ate 'em all? What?!? even the jars?

Wally: [nods]

Atif: dammit!! :angry: i bought those with my own money! and you could at least help out by doing the grocery shopping.

Wally: [bellows like Chewbacca and raises his massive yeti arms into the air like a gorilla. he beats his chest with his fists]

Atif: okay okay!! :eek: calm down. i don't want to be crushed by your oversize biceps. just take it easy now. (ya big mooch)

Wally: grut??!??!?

Atif: um, nothing nothing.

Wally: [grunts]

slayme_returns: [someone knocks on the door]

Atif: (high-pitched voice) Who is it……

Wally: Rall vret Dit!! [shakes entire apartment with his steps][and opens the door but breaks the handle..]

[A scottish traveling acrobat hobo appears with ginger dreadlocks and a beard , a celtic drum in one hand, and a flyer in the other hand. Wally smiles and squeals in delight]

Wally: VRAAAGH! [gives CtHuLu DaWn a bear hug]

Gav: Ergg! I can’t fuckin breathe!

Wally: Rha ha! [Gives CtHuLu DaWn a massive slap on the back]

Gav: (cough cough) good to see you too wally…..(cough cough)

Atif: Hello Gav! Would you like some Lucky Charms?

Gav: I’m scottish, not irish, ya peasent!

Atif: uh……okay. Sorry. How about some coffee.

Gav: Yeah sure. You do know how I like it right?

Atif: Of course. [pulls out haggis from the fridge]. So why are you here anyway.

Gav: I thought you would be interested in this flyer: (attachment of flyer)

Slayme_returns: [atif and wally examine the flyer]

Atif: hey yo, we gotta sign up for this shat, dogg!

Wally: Fy doon’t shink gwere roog genuff.

Atif: you don’t think we’re good enough? Sure we are man! You don’t have faith man, you gotta believe in yourself and have confidence and shite.

Wally: Umm, Rhy doon’t mro….glet’s shask gemnach

Atif: ok you wanna call memnoch and ask? Alright [dials phone and gives it to wally]

Slayme_returns: after 2 rings wally gets the answering message which plays loud immolation music

Wally: Grraaght da zhuck??

Memnoch: [picks up] Oh it’s you wally? How goes it, eh?

Wally: Roes Roog, fry zhavorite canniggerian. Shay, foo tlink rowr vand is roog genuff fro da zattle of da zands?

Memnoch: Our Band? What band? What hell fuck are you talking aboot, eh?

Wally: Petti grand da Gazzzhrinders.

Memnoch: Yeti and The Assgrinders? Oh yeah! That’s the industrial band we’re in. and you don’t think we’re good enough? No way! We’re totally awesome, we should definitely do it! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….

Slayme_returns: [5 minutes later]

Memnoch: OOOOOOOOOOSSSSST………………….BEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

Slayme_returns: [another 5 minutes later]

Atif: aw man! What’s taking so long, wally? That phone call is costing me money! You’ve been talking to him for more then 10 minutes! Gonsarnit!!!

Memnoch:T?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? ok see ya wally, bye [hangs up]

Atif: so what did he say?

Wally: Jhe zead hotay. Glet’s jew it!

Atif: Sweet! I’m so excited! What are we gonna wear, man?

Wally: Glet’s glouk en mye reloset.

Slayme_returns: [atif and wally proceed to the closet, and try out many clothes]

Atif: Hey wally, why don’t you try this tube top?

Wally: Yai’m gont whearing ha toog taag.

Atif: No? how about this tank top?

Wally: [gives thumbs up]

Atif: [puts on leather pants] Do these pantaloons make my ass look fat?

Wally: [nods]

Atif: ok then, I’ll wear these parachute pants instead. Well we better get our rest, Wally! We gotta wake up tomorrow to get the battle of the bands.

Wally: [nods]

Slayme_returns: [atif and wally get their beauty rest. Atif wakes up out of his pineapple bed and proceeds toward the kitchen]

Atif: aah! What a good morning today. I desire waffles. [opens the freezer and sees Wally inside] Hey wally, wake up, dog. We gotta get going. Let’s take my camel.

Slayme _returns: [after atif’s breakfast of waffles and OJ, and wally’s breakfast of raw fish, pb&j sandwiches and goat’s milk, they dressed and headed off to the place on atif’s camel where they were performing. They showed up with atif wearing a black doorag, a white puffy pirate shirt, gold chains around his neck, and purple parachute pants, and wally was wearing a green beanie, a yellow tank top and a red plaid kilt. They saw memnoch there, he was the only one that was dressed normal in the band]

Memnoch: Hahahahah! Look at you guys!! Man! Hahahahahhahahahahahah! You guys look fucking STYLIN’! BEEEEEEESSSST EEEEVEEEEER MOOOOOOOSSST?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Atif: Thanks man.

Wally: Zaih’m zhervous

Atif: You’re nervous? Drink something, it’ll calm you down.

Wally: gahlright. [slams 13 beers ]

Atif: okay let’s get to the stage.

Slayme_returns: [Yeti and the Assgrinders got on the stage and set up. They played terribly, here’s how they sounded like: (attachment of mp3). They got booed off the stage]

Walpurgis: My goodness, we were more sucky than a lesbian in a cunt factory.

Memnoch: Man wally, I can tell from you’re speech that you’re really drunk man……MOOOOSSST DRUUUUNK?!?!?!?!?

Walpurgis: Yes, I did have quite a bit to drink…….i have an acute suspicion that my drinking may have hindered my performance.

Atif: We should’ve been more concerned about our practicing and rehearsing for our performance, instead of our awesomely sexy clothing.

Walpurgis: I most definitely agree, my middle-eastern associate.

Atif: Well……let’s head on home, wally.

Wally: Yes we must depart.

Atif: Bye memnoch

Wally: Salutations, my canniggerian associate.

Memnoch: See ya guys later

Slayme_returns: [Memnoch leaves, and Atif and Wally depart on Atif’s camel. They ride through the streets. After a long pause….]

Wally: (sigh) I feel depressed. And it is not because of the alchohol.

Atif: how come?

Wally: well, alcohol is a depressant, but right now I’m not----

Atif: yeah, I know that. Why do you feel depressed?

Wally: I don’t know man. Do you think this band venture is going to work out? I should not have abandoned my education, perhaps I would have been more succesful and happy if I did not. Sometimes I feel as if there’s no such thing as the real world, and it’s just a lie you gotta rise above.

Atif: well……yeah…….I guess you’re stuck now. Maybe you should not have let John Mayer’s music have such an influence on you. Don’t worry though, everything will be okay, dog.

Wally: Really? Aw, I love you man.

Atif: Man you really are drunk. I oughta get you home before your drunk ass falls off this camel.

Wally: Okay.

Slayme_returns: [Atif and Wally, in their goofy ass clothes, ride off on the camel into the sunset……..THE END]

[dai saunders]

kick ass
:p :p :p :p

[Piper5150]

..........LOL!
props to the mods!:beer: :beer: :beer:

[Tattered]

Nice one guys!! :beer: :beer: :beer:

[ThroneofbahoS]

*applause*
So, whens the second episode coming out?
I'm reeeeaaally looking forward to it!:D
Wish this was TV...

[Dissection]

Bring back the show!!!

[guitar_demon]

this is old

bring back wally!!!! we have half the cast we need the other half!!!! maybe lb xxx can fill in for him

[Dissection]

Nah. it has to be wally. No one can yeti like he can.

I could take Ctulu's spot. he was annoying and i'm... well... thats self evident. :D

[guitar_demon]

yeah i miss the yeti hes like chewbacca huge, wierd, violent but a great guy to have on your side in a fight

[Dissection]

Go back to the RTT. Don't ruin this thread.

[Disincarnate]

:D

[Dissection]

I already said don't ruin this thread, you n00be shite.

[Darko]

Nilly and I could make texted based porno with breeding dildos.

[guitar_demon]

we could call it "metaltab sluts #1 the dils multiply like rabbits"

[BLS]

Nilly and I could make texted based porno with breeding dildos.

sounds kinky :love:

[Dissection]

Nilly and I could make texted based porno with breeding dildos.

Haha. And just how do you plan to do that one?

[Corpsevomit98]

I want to see it happen.

[Dissection]

Yeah, i'll believe it when I see it.

[BLS]

Atif already said he wanted to do this again, of course only important people would be in it... like me of course :rolleyes:

[Dissection]

I could do this. My sarcasm could be used :D

[Darko]

Since when do you have sarcasm? Since when can anything you say be used be sides the festering boils on your penis.

Anywho, I'm gunna close this. But I assure you that an episode 2 will be opened.

[Nihilist]

Anywho, I'm gunna close this.
POWER TRIP!