Walpurgis = God

[slayme_returns]

Alright people, I've noticed alot of talk about our man walpurgis and his apparent impressive muscles and whatnot. I'd like you all to continue to spread the love for walpurgis in here, I know he'll just love it!

[memnoch]

WE LOVE YOU MAN!!!!

CAN YOU SIGN MY ASS???:D :D :D

[far_beyond_sane]

He's just a big grumpy teddy bearkins, aintcha, you big lovable lug :D

[PST 88]

Goddamn dude, those bulging troll/yeti muscles are so fucking cool! He's like the monster from that movie, Young Frankenstein. That dude was fuckin scary! But everyone loved him, cause, y'know, everything about him was bigger'n normal. Everything .

[walpurgis]

Yep, I got an enormous Svanstukker!

Young Frankenstein was played by Peter Boyle, the grandpa on Everyone Loves Raymond :)

And memnoch, you got it!!!!!!! :)

[memnoch]

Sweet!!

I want half on each cheek!! And one of those foldy pictures, you know??:p

[PST 88]

You know, all this love for walpurgis is so sad in light of his condition. Yeah, walpurgis, I know I promised I wouldnt let them know, but it's just too late. You see, walpurgis was diagnosed with chronic yetiism about a year ago, and has been bravely fighting it ever since. But, recently, he took a turn for a worse. At this point in time, he is actually more yeti than man.

However, there is hope! With just a $50, $100, or $100000000 donation to the Save Walpurgis fund, a cure can still be found! Just go to www.savewalpurgis.com and mark down which donation you'd like to make. If you want to still be able to hear such trademark walpurgisisms such as 'fuck you,' you'll definitely want to donate.

Thank you.

[atifman]

Originally posted by PST 88
www.savewalpurgis.com

why do i keep clicking on those fake links?

well at least this one's not fake:

www.walpurgis.isgay.com

seriously. click on it. it's real

[walpurgis]

Part of the Savewalpurgis foundation will now go towards a rocket launcher to aim at a certain brown member of the forums.

[atifman]

Originally posted by walpurgis
Part of the Savewalpurgis foundation will now go towards a rocket launcher to aim at a certain brown member of the forums.

who, memnoch? :)

[memnoch]

I'm only brown cause i tan easily!! Damn you!:bawling:

[atifman]

Originally posted by memnoch
Damn you!:bawling:

now look what you did! you made him cry! now i'm certainly not gonna donate those platinum coins with the shape of a penis on it.

[slayme_returns]

What's up with this thread movin towards the bottom??? You fucks don't care about walpurgis or what?? SAVE WALPURGIS GODDAMMIT!!

[PST 88]

Yeah, he's struggling all alone! He'd fight for you, if you needed him! Well, he needs you! So, please, give a cash donation, preferably in small, unmarked bills. There's no tax write-off, but that feeling of satisfaction in your heart should be enough. The first one hundred donors on the $100000000 level will receive a genuine, limited edition, stylish, comfortable, portable, modern, imported, state-of-the-art, antique, imitation pleather wallet with the the walpurgis's trademark 'Fuck You' inscribed in painstaking, handmade, patches on either side. A true collectors item. The first 20 on the same level will receive a genuine, limited edition, stylish, comfortable, portable, modern, imported, state-of-the-art, antique, American-made, miniature state of the half-yeti, half-man that the walpurgis has become. Hurry and make your donation soon, before all of walpurgis's treasured dialogue is reduced to 'Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?' and 'I'm gonna love him, and hold him, and squeeze him, and hug him' and, of course, 'I like rabbits'.

Also, if these donations come too late, and walpurgis becomes 95% yeti, or more, all the funds will go to buying him rabbits to love, and hold, and squeeze, etc. There will be no refunds, unless, of course, you have a confirmed kill of one atifman(walpurgis would've wanted it that way), in which case a sum to be named later will be given to you.

Thank you, and may the God far_beyond_sane doesnt believe in bless you all. Except those of you who dont make a donation, in that case, some other God can bless your souls, bastards!

[Def]

wow, I want that wallet!

Walpurgis, you the man! :D


'killin black people isn't funny, keep your hands of the black people! I love black people! :D

[walpurgis]

Wallet's yours buddy, as soon as I get my motherfucking money!

Yeah, somebody cap atif for me :)

You guys are great *sniff*

[memnoch]

Originally posted by walpurgis
Yeah, somebody cap atif for me :)

With pleasure......:vampire:

[walpurgis]

You guys like the addition to my signature? ;)

Oh...as of now. I have received about 5 grand in an envelope that smelled like condoms and kangaroos, but had no return address...and I've sent out three wallets :)

[metalgraingirl]

Originally posted by walpurgis
...in an envelope that smelled like condoms and kangaroos...

sorry about that:o

[memnoch]

Originally posted by walpurgis
Oh...as of now. I have received about 5 grand in an envelope that smelled like condoms and kangaroos, but had no return address...and I've sent out three wallets :)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA:smash: :smash: :smash:

[Dieff_54]

man...that savewalpugis website was just fucked up....
some people have some very sick minds.
oh and by the way bob i'm sure we could find a missle or grenade launcher, or maybe even a stinger missle on the black market that you could use to blow him up with!!:uzi: ;)

[walpurgis]

It would have to be the "brown" market, dude :)

It's Atif we're talkin about after all

[atifman]

Originally posted by *Def-Fx*

'killin black people isn't funny, keep your hands of the black people! I love black people! :D

true, but who's black here? :confused: i don't think anyone's black here. are you black? i'm not black.

where did that come from all of a sudden, out of nowhere me thinks......

[memnoch]

Yes i agree......quite unexpected.

[far_beyond_sane]

http://walpurgis.isgay.com

No kidding, this site exists.

UN-BE-LIEVABLE.....

[memnoch]

Yes, but about 5 annoying pop ups come with it.....I HATE POP UPS!!!!!!!

They're like spammers, or idiots...except WORSE!:angry: :mad:

[walpurgis]

Where's my god damn money???

[atifman]

what money?

[PST 88]

The 'buy stuff to kill atif' money.

[slayme_returns]

http://www.walpurgis.com


What in the fuck walpurgis? I didnt know man.

[PST 88]

Nice, walpurgis, 21 inches.

[walpurgis]

Hehe, thanks... I'm gifted

[PST 88]

I noticed those pictures are strangly lacking your incredible muscles dude. What up wit dat?

[walpurgis]

I'm not "incredibly muscular" anyway.

[PST 88]

That's not what everyone else says. Kindly refer to the 'how do you imagine people look' thread for verification. If that's not too much to ask, of course...

[atifman]

yeah so if everyone else says it's true, you HAVE to be wrong, 'cause majority rules........

[walpurgis]

Originally posted by PST 88
That's not what everyone else says. Kindly refer to the 'how do you imagine people look' thread for verification. If that's not too much to ask, of course...

Yeah, but Brad (Dieff_54) is the only person on here that actually knows what I look like, aside from a fuzzy picture from way back when.

[atifman]

Brad (Dieff_54), what's the scoop?

[far_beyond_sane]

I KNOW WHAT WALLY LOOKS LIKE!!!

[walpurgis]

...and I'm not that big or buff or anything, he knows that.

[atifman]

James (far_beyond_sane), what's the scoop?

[slayme_returns]

oh yeah, diggin up a classic.


walpurgis IS god, and you all can suck it if you think otherwise.

[walpurgis]

Heh, even me? ;)

[slayme_returns]

uh no probably not dude. but, everyone else can suck it!

[PST 88]

Damn, almost forgot about this thread. How's the yetiism goin dude? Get many donations? I'm still waitin on my fuckin wallet!

[walpurgis]

Sorry about the wallet dude, fucking blimps just can't airmail well.

[PST 88]

Well, that makes sense. I guess I'll let it slide... this time.

[walpurgis]

You know, you guys are lucky I'm not one of those life controlling gods, because I'd be killin lots and lots of people right about now...

By the way, I just started a book on the zodiac killer :)

[memnoch]

That guy was never caught was he? I remember hearing shit about him on TLC......very interesting stuff.

[walpurgis]

You're right, he was never caught.

[memnoch]

That guy had some trippy coded messages. Dumbass cops still can't figure half of it out.

[walpurgis]

Not just dumbass cops man, there were also all the CIA, FBI, and NSA teams.

[Dyldo]

ahh Zodiac killer is awesome, the book is really good, theres 2 main ones. A hard back (black with green letters) and a sof back thats yellow. I love physopaths... read sibil, great book. Its about a girl that has 12 personallity (true story).

[walpurgis]

I have the yellow paperback.

[PST 88]

Ah, the one where Graysmith doesnt quite reveal who it is? In the other one he does, cause it takes him several hundred pages to do what could be a revised chapter on his last book. Go figure...

Graysmith also wrote a book revealing that Jack the Ripper moved to San Francisco and commited a semi-famous murder in a Church, which was pinned on some dandy. Apparently the pastor there was a British guy named Jack with a scar on his throat, and there might even be more evidence!

[slayme_returns]

The one, the only....Walpurgis.


Give it up, motherfuckers! He's leaving in a little over a week, better write something nice in here!

[walpurgis]

Just what I need, an ego boost :flame:

[Tattered]

Good luck wal! kick some ass! and bring back some piccies!! :D

[walpurgis]

Piccies?

[Tattered]

Pictures mate, Pictures

[Mofoism]

you have yourself a good one, hope you find it great and definately have a great future!

kick asss

[walpurgis]

Long as I don't fuck up in nuke school, I'll be well set up for my future...

And tatter3d, I could probably come up with pictures, and have L,B'XXX scan one of my military photos or something, so you can all see my ugly bald ass, lol.

[Tattered]

Originally posted by walpurgis

And tatter3d, I could probably come up with pictures, and have L,B'XXX scan one of my military photos or something, so you can all see my ugly bald ass, lol.

yeah that would be cool, lol

[The Doctor]

yeah, show us buttfuckpics in the showers, man!
:D

[dai saunders]

ill praise the yettiking have a beer for me :beer: :beer:

[MetalPoldi]

Have fun there! If you you have fun, it'll all be easy and you'll get this job you wanted to.

And don't drink to much, i'll do it for you.:beer:

[mrweijia]

yeah, see ya wally. good luck in nuke school

[Piper5150]

while your there can ya nuke france for the us. there pissing us off lol

[PantericA]

wally's leavin, ahhhh, :bawling: where the fuck are we going to find another drunken yeti god? personally i don't think there is another.

[Mofoism]

Originally posted by Piper5150
while your there can ya nuke france for the us. there pissing us off lol


ahh ungrateful ass mongrol
without france your country wouldnt exist, give em a break!

[The Doctor]

you french colonist!:D

[Mofoism]

im from western canada.. and my family immigrated here.. so im not decended from any colonists.. my family is jewish

but regardless.. dont harp all over the french. sure they are ugly and annoying.. you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French. That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for them.

haha.. freedom fries.. seriously now!!!

[Tattered]

Originally posted by Piper5150
while your there can ya nuke france for the us. there pissing us off lol

since your doing nuke requests, hehe, Drop one on The turks. (Turkey)

There claiming that iraq is also there land, an excuse to bomb us and america, cheers! have a good time!:beer:

[The Doctor]

Originally posted by Mofoism
im from western canada.. and my family immigrated here.. so im not decended from any colonists.. my family is jewish

but regardless.. dont harp all over the french. sure they are ugly and annoying.. you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French. That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for them.

haha.. freedom fries.. seriously now!!!

fuck it. the great dutch explorers were the one who first found and owned america, we even fucking GAVE you new-amsterdam, and those brittish cock's changed it in new-york. the US is fucking ours!!!!!!:smash:

[MechanicalRaper]

Originally posted by Mofoism
ahh ungrateful ass mongrol
without france your country wouldnt exist, give em a break!

And without us, they'd be speaking German! If I ever go to France, I'll be sure to piss on the Eiffel Tower.

[walpurgis]

Alright, this is my thread, well, it's slayme's, but it's about me. First off, I'm all for bombing Turkey and France, so if all goes well, I'll be doing both. Secondly, no one is allowed to defend France in this thread, I consider that a personal offense, because I myself don't like France. Or Mexico. Or Africa.

And Poldi, I hope you'll be able to drink as much as I usually do on top of whatever you drink, because I'm going to need someone to fill in for me while I'm not drinking. Thanks for volunteering, you're a true friend :p

[MetalPoldi]

Originally posted by walpurgis
And Poldi, I hope you'll be able to drink as much as I usually do on top of whatever you drink, because I'm going to need someone to fill in for me while I'm not drinking. Thanks for volunteering, you're a true friend :p

OK, i'll start now. But i think it's hard to drink as a human being as much as an alcohol-yeti. Although i had one week fulltime practise.:beer:

[walpurgis]

I'm not as good at it as I used to be. My dad was making fun of me because I threw up after drinking close to a half gallon of Crown Royal and a 12 pack :(

[Tattered]

Making fun of you? Man, the amount you drank thats heavyweight..well to me..i dont know what crown is.

[MetalPoldi]

How many liters is a gallon?
And 12 pack? 12x 0,33l bottles?

[killingismybiz]

Damn, I thought this thread would reveal dirty secrets... with sexy results. Kidding.

Good luck in nuke school. :)

[Tattered]

Originally posted by MetalPoldi
And 12 pack?

Thats right a 12 pack! start chugging Poldi!! :D


:beer: :beer: :beer: :beer:

[Dyldo]

Originally posted by walpurgis
You know, you guys are lucky I'm not one of those life controlling gods, because I'd be killin lots and lots of people right about now...

By the way, I just started a book on the zodiac killer :)

How'd you like the book? I heard there going to come out with a book with all his insane poetry which im really looking forward to.

[walpurgis]

Darko, it was a great book, interesting as hell. Those are my favorite types of books.

Killingismybiz, if you're a female, I can tell you dirty secrets, you just have to find me at the right time ;) (you can tell by my typing when is the best opportunity)

tatter3d, Crown Royal is 80 proof Canadian whiskey.

Poldi, the 12 pack was of 12 ounce cans, and there are 4.5 liters in a gallon, roughly, so half a gallon is about 2.25 liters.

Damn, that is a lot of whiskey...

[MetalPoldi]

That'd be killing me. Man, your family must be hardcore!!! Although my family can be hardcore, too. But not with these masses of alcohol!!!

Hail, yeti!!!:beer:

[dai saunders]

wish i could come to nuke school with ya wally man
good luck

hail the great yetti king:beer:

[walpurgis]

Well, essentially you could, dai, just join the navy, and pass the nuclear aptitude test. Long as you know math up through Trig and some basic Physics, you shouldn't have much problem.

Poldi, just work yourself up, you'll be doing it in no time :)

[Tattered]

Originally posted by walpurgis


tatter3d, Crown Royal is 80 proof Canadian whiskey.


You drank half a gallon of Crown Royal!!!!!

What are you?!!..some sort of yeti!?!?!...oh no wait..:D :D

[walpurgis]

Yeah, I did, and trust me, it kicked my ass :)

[Tattered]

I bet it fucking well did!:D :beer:

[walpurgis]

My g/f was pissed the next day, because I was still really drunk, and couldn't move around too much...

[The Doctor]

hahaha:D

[mrweijia]

Originally posted by walpurgis
tatter3d, Crown Royal is 80 proof Canadian whiskey.


its 80%!?!?!??!

[walpurgis]

80 proof is 40%

[MetalPoldi]

Your liver have to be just a piece of rotten flesh, without any functional cells.:eek:

[dai saunders]

wally probably looked like metalpoldi's avator after all that in his guts

[Dyldo]

My friends father has a kind of Chinese Saki (sp?) that is 80%, not 80 proof. It smells like gatorade. He is the biggest fucking drinker.

[PantericA]

when i was 13 my buddy brought out some 190 proof shit. now that will get you drunk.

[atifman]

back to the topic

bye wally, i'll miss you!!:love:
*blows wally a kiss*

[walpurgis]

Um, thanks I think...but that's truly frightening atif :eek:
Ah fuck it, I love you too man!!!! :beer:

[Def]

I'll drink an extra beer on you tonight wally, take care motherfucker, and check up on this place if you have the chance!

:beer:

[Nemo]

I will drink until i drop for u wally. Watch out for whales...

[Tattered]

Do us well wally!! I'll drink to this. :beer: :D

[powersofterror]

tehehe, this reminds me when i wrote my fist pointless
lyric entitled "Forum Maddness."

[L,B'XXX]

"Watch out for whales..."
Dieff_54 is being rolled to the lake via Greenpeace. heehee Hi Brad !! I love you !!
Who let him register in this place anyways ? You guys will accept anything. He's a walking refrigerator. That's how Wally got buff. '54 ate everything. Oh, the tales I could tell about his and Wally's 'evil shenanigans'. I've known him since he was little. Wait a minute, he was never little. I've known him a long time.
(I know.....shut up , bitch ! I love you, too, Brad. :))You missed a kick butt going away party. I slept through it, but I heard massive amounts of laughter on my way to sleep. I should have stayed up. That was one hungover yeti the next day. He didn't even work out !! Daddy stayed up though. And you know how that goes !! Wally drank half a fifth of JD and 2 beers. It got him flying. He was giving his g/f away to everybody male , female, and Gill, too ! So you KNOW he was loaded.

This thread is a scream btw. Wally's sick but loveable personality is shining through. I miss the brat throughly. I even miss you , '54, but not as much. Hey, you're old workplace got closed down for drug dealing ,too ! That didn't take long. See ya when you're home again.

And can somebody send me a wallet, too? But I don't want to know how Wally knows what a condom smells like. Some things I just don't even want to know.

[The Doctor]

the fist day at work for wally (http://www.chinfo.navy.mil/navpalib/news/news_stories/pent-navy.gif)

[Dieff_54]

why thank you bobbi!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate you too.j/kare you on any msg programs like icq or anything let me know what your screennames are.

[L,B'XXX]

Dieff_ fitty-fo --We should start the Ashtabula Club here like the old farts that live in Florida have !! heehee

The Doctor- I loved that pic. I showed it to Wally's g/f. :) That was perfect.

[The Doctor]

you are very welcome miss. Purgis. I know when to post the right things :)